31 March 2008

Ups and Downs...

Being in grad school feels, at times, a bit like being manic- It's a series of swings up and down. The last week has been full of them:

Found out that I got travel money for a conference in June--woo-hoo! (Maybe my project is insightful.) Found out a week later that all grad students got the money. (or not.)

Found out that I got leave from teaching this fall--woo-hoo! (Definitely will be defending before the end of the year.) Found out that I probably won't get a teaching job this summer. bummer.

Found out that I was a finalist for best graduate student paper at CEA last week. (and more than 5 other people entered!!!) Woo-double-hoo. Found out that I didn't get the long-shot, national fellowship that I had convinced myself I had a shot at getting (1 in 54!!). double bummer.

Found out that one of the people who acquires manuscripts for a press is interested in seeing my abstract when I'm ready...It's not an overly prestigious imprint, but I'm waiting for the other side of the coin to show itself any minute now...

It's like one moment you feel like it would be impossible not to get a job, and a moment later, you're planning your backup plan.

And while you're dealing with all of these emotional ups and downs, your toddler has turned into some sort of crazed banshee.

But then, a moment later he smiles sweetly and giggles, your students write decent proposals, and your husband brings home leftover eclairs from his class event.

First- Many thanks to those readers who have given me your insightful comments about dealing with tantrums. They haven't subsided yet, maybe th

1 comment:

AcadeMama said...

Yes, yes, and yes. To everything you just said: me too. I've accepted that this is simply the way life goes, rather than than think it's a condition isolated to graduate studies. Even before starting grad school, that's the way things seemed to go. I'd get a promotion at work, but then I'd have to replace a major appliance; I'd get a great tax refund, and then have to turn around and use it to pay off a credit card. If I take a minute to look around me at all the people not in academia, they have different "kinds" of problems, but not any fewer problems than I do.

We take what we can get, do the best job possible, and hope that "it all comes out in the wash" as my Yankee husband likes to say :) Congrats on all the UPs!