13 July 2007

Giving Up Baby

Since Little Man has entered into this world, one of my biggest concerns is how I was going to let him grow up. It dawned on me somewhere around month 4 or 5, when I finally realized just how much I liked having him around, that soon he wouldn't be a baby anymore.

Fast forward a few months, and someone seems to have replaced my baby with a toddler. Any day now, I fully expect to wake up only to find an eight-year-old scrunched up in the crib I put my toddler down into the night before. And then, I realized one day, he's going to start sprouting hair on that baby-smooth skin and someday he'll start smelling like a sweaty man instead of a sweaty little boy. And then what?? What do I do with a teenager? Or a grown man?!? How can I be a mother to that, I wondered?

This is an issue that has been weighing on my mind for a few months now. But then, this past week, I was walking to the bus on campus and a little squad of 13ish kids walked by with instruments slung across their shoulders. Being a reformed high school band geek myself, I have a soft spot for kids carrying cases filled with brass instruments that weigh more than they do. And then, a day or so later, I saw a 16-or-so- year old on the bus with his parents. "One visit down," his dad proudly explained.

That's when it hit me that maybe I would be ok letting Little Man grow up. I realize that he's going to do it regardless of how much I ask him not too and all, but seeing those fresh-faced teens and excited parents I can almost start picturing what my life might be like when I'm 42 or 45.

It's hard to think about your baby growing up because it seems like an end. I'm still not sure that I'm completely on board with the idea...but maybe I'm getting a little closer.


wwwmama said...

what a cutie!

Anonymous said...

yo know i feel mutch the way you do about little man as i do my self right now especialy sice i am at the cross roads of beong a boy and a man, and finding my self wanting to hold on to those fun things that i have done in the past and then asking my self if that is hw i shopuld be acting in my new role, and then answering the question with why am i letting my job in life define me that is not me. then that is answered with another question it is a cycle, and i have completly rambled off topic and do not even now were i started. i love the new snapfish his hair is getting so long. he can be a hippy for haloween

LD said...

No Way- He's going to be fat Elvis for Halloween!